fractal_mirrors | Matters of the Heart 2/3 [Who/HOLiC/PotC; English]

Title: Matters of the Heart (part 2 of 3)
Rating: PG
Genre: Adventure / Humour
Characters: Ninth Doctor, Rose, Clow, Yuuko, Tia Dalma, Davy Jones
Pairings: Davy Jones/Tia Dalma, hints of Clow/Yuuko and Doctor/Rose
Words: 3413
Summary: The Doctor takes Rose on a vacation to the Caribbean, but they don't get to relax.
Notes: Written for

crossing_who 's fic challenge.

Part 1

“You do realize,” Clow said, as they walked across the beach, “that they’re not going to forgive us for leaving them behind, right?”

“As a matter of fact, you weren’t supposed to be here, either.”

“But I couldn’t let you risk yourself like this, all on your own. Besides, you can’t reach the Flying Dutchman without magic, unless you want to get the TARDIS on the ship.”

“See, there’s a reason why I never invited you to travel…”

“Because you didn’t want to be outshone?” the wizard asked cheerfully.

“As if,” the Doctor snorted. “No, it’s because you’re a know-it-all. And if I think so, then it’s really bad. Now do something useful and get us on that ship so we can get caught.”

“We shouldn’t be exactly on the ship,” Clow pointed out. “Just close enough. If we can make it look like our own ship sank, they’ll pick us up before Jones has the chance to recognize us.”

The Doctor nodded, thoughtful.

“How do you plan to do that? Illusion?”

“Indeed. But first, Fly.”

“Oh, no, you won’t-”

“It’s not a long way,” Clow insisted, as the staff took its new winged form, “and it’s the fastest way. Come on, it won’t be that bad.”

“Fine,” the Doctor muttered. “But just this once, and you don’t get to tell anyone.”

“We have a deal,” the wizard replied, and then they took off.

Balancing two grown men on that staff was no small feat, but they somehow managed to do it, and soon enough they saw Jones’s ghost ship in the distance. They approached it covered by Illusion’s magic. For a moment they lingered over the water nearby, preparing themselves for the next step in their plan.

“All right, I’m going in,” the Doctor said, more to himself than to his friend, and jump into the cold sea. Clow followed an instant later; he had to cast the spell around them before he could put away his Key.

Soon enough, the Dutchman’s crew seemed to notice the fake shipwreck near them. They sent a small boat to check for survivors and take them aboard. The Doctor and Clow didn’t resist; they pretended to do so, or else the sailors would be too suspicious, but they didn’t put up much of a fight. Luckily, the pirates that Jones had sent out to take them weren’t too bright. It wouldn’t be so easy to fool the captain himself.

When the prisoners were finally on board, the pirates forced them to kneel, waiting for orders before they did anything else. It didn’t take long until they heard the unmistakable sound of Jones’s steps approaching them. But they stopped a few feet away, as if he was surprised.

“Reed!” he exclaimed. “Again? Of all the scoundrels in the sea-”

“Good night to you too, Davy,” Clow said mildly. “I’m not exactly happy to see you either.”

“And what about me? You don’t recognize an old friend anymore? I’m going to get jealous.”

That seemed to spark the captain’s curiosity. He took the few steps that still separated him from the two men, and then his eyes filled with realization.

“We meet again, Doctor,” he said, leaning in to give a closer look at his prisoner's face. “But this time, I have the upper hand.”

“Good. I like a challenge. More fun this way,” the Doctor said. “You all can even start betting on how long it'll take me to get out of this. I say ten minutes, what do you think?”

“I think,” Jones replied, and one of his eyes was visibly twitching, “that you are in no position to make jokes. Not when you have a cutlass to your neck. Tell me, Doctor, do you fear death?”

“Nah,” he said, even managing to shrug a little in spite of the pirate that was holding his arms behind his back. “Died eight times already. It's pretty much routine by now.”

“And how about your friend, then? He doesn't have those powers of yours. Will you let my lads here slice his throat open?”

“I'm really sorry to disappoint,” Clow intervened, as he carefully took the blade with two of his fingers and moved it away just a little, “but I'm planning to stick around for a couple more centuries, in fact.”

Jones didn't seem at all upset by his reaction. On the contrary, he looked quite proud of himself, and quickly turned to face the wizard instead.

“Ah! That's just the kind of thing I like to hear! We are going to make a deal, you and I-”

“Oh, but there's no need for that at all,” Clow said cheerfully. “I'd much rather do it in my own style. I'm afraid your way of doing things is just too much work for a scholar...”

Jones's eye twitched again. He looked as if he was about to say something, but the Doctor interrupted him.

“Speaking of your way of doing things,” he said. “You didn't look like that last time we met, Davy boy.”

“Neither did you.”

“Fair enough,” said the Doctor. “But you didn't exactly get better looking, did you?”

“Now, honestly,” Clow said, his smile faltering for the first time, “I don't think that's the best topic of conversation...”

“Let him finish!” Jones snapped. “I want to hear what he has to say. I don't care how many times I have to kill him afterwards.”

“Yes, you do, Jones. You don't want to kill the one who can help you. Wouldn't you like to look at least remotely human again? Get rid of this illness?”

“Illness!” he barked. “Illness, you say! This is a curse!”

“Trust me,” Clow agreed, giving the Doctor a meaningful look. “I know a curse when I see one.”

“And I know alien bacteria when I see them. They're pretty hard to miss,” the Doctor went on. “Do you know how many species can keep a functional body while their heart is somewhere else? They're not very many. And none of them are from this planet, mind you. What exactly did you do to yourself? Got some alien DNA from your girlfriend?”

Jones's pipe snapped in half. Clow let out a sigh of resignation.

“Of course. You just had to mention the girlfriend.”

“How dare you,” Jones growled. “How dare you speak of that – that woman–”

“I dare speak of her because she has everything to do with this,” the Doctor went on. “She’s not exactly from around here, did she tell you that? And it looks like she brought a lot of microscopic friends with her. They don’t really affect her own body, she looks as pretty as ever, but put them in contact with a human and in no time he’s got a tentacly face and his heart’s inside of a wooden chest somewhere. And then it gets better! Because the guy takes all these little bacteria with him to his ship, and they thrive on its crew, and any poor fool that sticks around for long enough gets seashells and starfish on their skin.”

For a moment, Jones simply stared at him, with so much fury that he looked about to explode.

“There is no punishment enough for you,” he said, and then he looked up at his sailors. “Just kill them.”

Then everything happened very fast. The man that was holding the Doctor suddenly discovered that his cutlass’s blade had fallen from its hilt at some point during the conversation. Clow got himself free and stood up in a swift move, leaving a very confused pirate behind. It was only a moment until they had most of the crew upon them, captain included.

“It’s been a while since we had this much fun, don’t you think?” the Doctor laughed, stepping out of the way of a seashell-faced attacker who bumped into someone from his own side.

“We really should do this more often,” said Clow, and then “Watch out–”

He reached out to get the Doctor out of the way, and then Jones’s lobster-like claw hit him on the back of the head, and the last thing he saw was a mess of feet on wet wood.

* * *

“It was a bad idea,” Tia Dalma muttered, almost to herself, as she brought a tray with several drinks towards the table. “A very, very bad idea. But he never listens, never. And your Clow, too… Should have more sense in him, that man.”

“Oh, he should,” Yuuko agreed, emptying her glass in a single gulp. “But he never learns.”

Rose paced around the cluttered room, frustrated. How could they be so calm? They were upset, yes, but they weren’t doing anything. They were just sitting there while the Doctor and Clow had gone to face Davy Jones himself…

“I can’t believe it!” she snapped at last. “Why did they just leave without us like that? Is it a macho thing or something?”

“Never,” said Tia Dalma, and her smile looked dangerous for a moment. “They know, those two, the power of a woman.”

Yuuko nodded and took the glass that was meant for Rose. The girl didn’t mind; she wasn’t touching that, anyway.

“It’s not a macho thing,” the witch assured her. “The Doctor left on his own because he thinks he’s the best thing that ever happened to the universe and that he can face anyone all alone. And Clow sneaked up behind him because he thinks that he is the best thing that ever happened to the universe and that nothing can go right if he’s not involved.”

“Great, so it’s an ego thing. That’s not much better,” Rose muttered. “So what are we going to do? Are we too late to catch up with them?”

“Catching up will do no good,” Tia Dalma replied, shaking her head. Rose stopped pacing just so she could glare at her properly.

“But we can’t just stay here waiting!”

“Of course not. We’ll find out what they’re up to,” Yuuko told her.

It was then when Rose noticed that she hadn’t drunk the second glass. It seemed somehow different now; clearer, even though it was still dirty. The liquid’s surface was whirling quietly under the witch’s eyes. It looked as if she was scrying, as hard to believe as that might be. All of a sudden, she pressed her palms on the table and stood up.

“That idiot,” she huffed. “I leave him alone for five minutes–”

“What happened?” Rose asked.

“The Doctor couldn’t keep his big mouth shut, of course. And Clow either forgot that he has a Shield card, or he thought he could just play pirates without it. Arrogant fool…”

“… what?”

“I’ll tell you the details on the way. Come on.”

“You leave?” asked Tia Dalma, frowning slightly.

“We’re going to the beach.”

Rose thought it was wiser to wait until Yuuko calmed down a bit to voice her concerns, so for a few minutes she simply followed her in silence. They walked through the jungle for a while (she was very grateful for her jeans; the witch was raising her kimono up to her knees) and then she finally got the courage to ask her.

“Tia Dalma looked worried when you said we’d leave. Did she think it could be dangerous?”

“Oh, yes. But not for us. She knows that her boyfriend is going to be in big trouble if I find him.”

“… her boyfriend?”

“Davy Jones.”

“All right,” said Rose, “you’ve really lost me now.”

So Yuuko explained everything. She talked both about Jones’s story, and about what she had just seen through her scrying. Rose felt that she was entirely justified in calling them names, and would have gladly joined in if the witch had given her time.

“Stupid wizard,” she muttered. “So much for being the most powerful idiot in the world. I am the one who always ends up rescuing him.”

“You do this often, then?” Rose chimed in, now struggling to follow her step. Yuuko was fast when she was angry. “'Cause I might ask for a few tips…”

“I'd say 'stay away from idiots' but it's obviously too late for that.”

“Well, he's not always an idiot,” she said, feeling as if she should defend the Doctor's honour for some reason. The witch turned around for a second and gave her a very telling look. She just had to grin. “All right, he's an idiot really often. Still, not always. And it's usually to help people...”

“Or to get a closer look at something shiny,” said Yuuko. “These two are much too similar.”

“So he does that too, then,” Rose sighed. “He did give me that impression in Tia Dalma's house. He kept staring at everything.”

“Oh, Clow never visits her without bartering something. But I can't blame him for that, in all honesty,” she admitted. “All her articles are wonderful rarities. It's not easy to find the kind of things she offers.”

“I suppose not,” the girl mumbled, not quite convinced. Tia Dalma's things were certainly weird, but she wasn't sure they qualified as “wonderful rarities”. Perhaps wizards and witches had a different perspective on that stuff. “So… what are we going to do when we find them?”

“We make sure they didn’t get killed, and then we kill them.”

“Sounds good to me.”

* * *

When Clow woke up, everything was blurry around him. He thought his glasses might have slid down his nose… no, he realized, they’d slid up his nose. He was hanging upside down.

“Doctor?” he asked, still a little dazed. Someone moved behind him – really, really close behind him.

“Ah, you’re awake,” the Doctor said. “Good. I was starting to worry. What’s the use of foresight if you can’t duck from a blow to the head?”

He was about to tell him that he hadn’t ducked to keep a certain someone out of trouble, but the words died in his throat. Talking had fully awoken him, and now he was aware of his surroundings at last. He wasn’t just hanging upside down. He was hanging upside down and chained back to back to the Doctor and locked in the Flying Dutchman’s brig.

“I was trying to tell you,” said Clow, sounding much too calm all things considered, “that they wouldn't like to hear about alien bacteria turning people into sea animals. And especially not about Calypso.”

“But she is an alien,” the Doctor pointed out.

“I know she is. But did you really need to say it?”

“All right, I might've said a bit too much. In front of the wrong people.”

“You told Davy Jones that he looks like that because his girlfriend from another planet is contagious,” the wizard said. “It’s no wonder he wanted us dead. Why didn’t they kill us, anyway?”

“He changed his mind. I think he wants me to try to cure him, no matter what he said up there. That or he wants to torture me until he’s bored. He definitely wants to torture you, and he said he didn’t start right then and there because he wanted you conscious. Apparently he’s still bitter because of something you did to him a few decades ago.”

“Ah. That,” Clow sighed. “I was reading fortunes in Tortuga, and he came to ask me about this woman he’d just met. I told him it wasn’t such a good idea. So he asked for details, and I gave them. He wasn’t happy.”

The Doctor twisted his neck so he could look at him sideways.

“You were reading fortunes in Tortuga?”

“It’s a long story,” he said. “Also, just so you know, I have no intention to catch any alien disease. So I suggest you hurry up with that thing.”

“If you call my screwdriver 'that thing' again I'll have to give you another speech about those cards of yours,” the Doctor warned him, but he did return to his work. “Why aren't you using them, anyway? Aren't you supposed to be the most powerful so-called wizard in the world?”

“So powerful, in fact, that if I use magic with my head in this state I might blow up the whole ship,” said Clow, not in the least upset. “And I'd like to remind you that we wouldn’t even be here if you were able to simply take a hint and stop talking. So–”

“Hurry up, I know!” the Doctor grumbled. “It's kind of hard to work when you're hanging upside down and chained to someone with a cloak that gets all over the place. Not exactly working clothes, those.”

“Ah, of course. Because you have never taken to wear a scarf twice your size that got in the way of absolutely everything.”

“You made that scarf, Reed.”

“Only because I saw you were going to use it.”

The Doctor muttered something unintelligible about fortune tellers and their nonsense. Clow elbowed him the ribs.

“Oh, fine. I'm working on it,” he said. “Almost there – you'll want to prepare yourself–”

There was a faint click, followed by the noise of pieces of rusty metal sliding against each other. In a matter of seconds, they had enough space to move – and to fall. Clow turned around in mid air and landed gracefully on his feet. The Doctor didn't have that much luck.

“Oy!” he snapped, rubbing his head. “Next time you want to show off your fancy martial arts moves, you might consider giving a little help.”

“Someone had to catch the chain before it hit the floor,” Clow replied simply, placing it on the wooden floor, “unless we wanted to alert the whole crew. Besides, you deserved it.”

“All right, all right, you don't have to explain how all of this is my fault again. Now move aside so I can open that door.”

In a matter of seconds, the Doctor had unlocked the door with his screwdriver and they were on their way, trying to go unnoticed as they looked for a way out. Clow still felt a little too light-headed to use his magic, but they had no need of it; the simple method of sneaking up and knocking guards from behind worked wonders. When it was time to get back on the deck, however, he didn’t have much choice.

“Are you sure you can do this?” the Doctor asked. He nodded, taking the cards from one of his pockets.

“I’m feeling better now. Besides, it’s not a big spell this time,” he assured him, as he cast Illusion around them one more time.

It gave them the chance to cross the deck unnoticed, and jump into the water before anyone could see them. With one last effort, Clow called Earthy so they would have a place to stand. The Dutchman continued on its way, in perfect calm; if all went well, it would take a while until they noticed the prisoners were missing. They’d be far away, and hopefully on land, by that point.

“Well,” the Doctor said, “now what?”

“We go to the beach and meet Yuuko and Rose right before they have time to go looking for us.”

“... is that your plan? All of it?”

“No, those are the facts,” said Clow. “I'm still working on how to get there.”

“So much for foresight,” the Doctor muttered. Clow grimaced.

“Never said it was a treat.”

“Oh, come on, we don't have time to sulk! If you aren't going to say anything useful then kindly shut up and let me think, all right?”

Clow rolled his eyes at him, but bit back his scathing reply. It would be silly to start arguing again, he had a point about that. He tried to focus on coming up with a plan. They weren't too far from the shore, and he knew he could sustain his spells without trouble now. Perhaps...

“I know you won't want to fly,” he said, “so I suppose we could just walk.”

He called Earthy again, this time creating a narrow path of solid rock between their tiny island and the mainland. The Doctor raised his eyebrows, impressed.

“Nice. Clean and simple,” he told him. “A bit easy to see, though. What if they come back?”

“Oh, that's all right. Illusion will keep us hidden,” Clow said, calling the card to protect them.

“Show off,” the Doctor muttered, then took the lead so it wouldn't seem as if the wizard was doing all the work.

Part 3

Matters of the Heart 2/3 [Who/HOLiC/PotC; English]

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