Darkness [Card Captor Sakura; English]

[laurus-nobilis.livejournal.com]

Title: Darkness
Rating: PG
Genre: Drama, I think
Characters: Clow
Summary: An evil different look at Clow's personality.
Notes: Written for tsukimineshrine's "Sympathy for the Devil" challenge. Which means this isn't my real interpretation of Clow- just one of my favourite characters, shown in a bad light. The scary thing about it is that, for all we know, it could be canon.

Darkness

 

 

Es ambicioso pensar siquiera yo en esto

Pero esa idea es más que ambición

Es pretender yo equipararme con dioses

Quienes lo hacen malditos son (*)

Pepe Cibrián, “Mi Alma Doy” (Dorian Gray – El Retrato)

 

His parents had loved him, but once they died, he discovered that neither side of his family seemed to like him very much.

Jealous, he thought. Envious of his greatness, of the power that belonged to him alone. He didn’t need them. All he could learn from them, all of their magic, was already his.

So he left, alone, to hide where nobody could bother him. And he made his own magic, just because he could.

He never thought about the limits. There were no limits. Why would the rules apply to him, when he was so different? Hadn’t they reminded him of that time after time, hadn’t they gloated about it? But they hadn’t known what they laughed about. He was different, yes; he was a hundred times more powerful, a thousand times better.

They would see now, they would find out what he was capable of. No matter how long it took, how much it cost him, he would be the most powerful of all. He knew he would achieve it. He had Seen it.

Not until much, much later did he think that there could be other consequences, that his own power could turn against him. He did the things he did because he had to, he told himself; because he had Seen them, because it was Fate. Consequences were of little importance. If he ever had to fix anything, there would be time; there would always be time. He wasn’t leaving anytime soon.

Still, he discovered, even having the greatest magic was pointless without anything to use it for. So he began to make things. At first, he had planned his Cards to be no more than instruments, simple objects to focus his powers.

But he grew fond of them. His spirit burnt like fire with pride for his creations; they were unique, they were perfect. They were his. He made them more beautiful every time, more detailed, testing his abilities to the extreme even when there was no need for it. Each one of them was completely different from the rest, one of a kind. They even had their own personalities. Yet they all belonged to him, they obeyed only him.

Soon even this was not enough. It became predictable. He wanted something new, something that would truly challenge him. Something that nobody else before him had even dared to try.

What could be more sublime than the creation of a living being? It took strength, and it took valor, and he was willing to do it. He would make not one, but two creatures, beautiful and perfect, like everything he did. He would be their Master and they would be his unconditional companions. And it would never matter again if the world shunned him

Because they would love him, and they would be his. Forever.

 

* * *

 

Before he noticed, forever had passed. And everything was wrong, so wrong… It would turn even worse; his visions told him so. He would have given anything to stop them, to chase them away, but his own power had become too much for him to control.

It was then when he decided he would change the future.

He knew he could do it. He could do anything. So he started preparing some things, tweaking some others, not hesitating to alter events in his own world and in others that were not his. Everything would turn out just as he planned it. He would become the hand of Fate itself, watching every little detail to make it fit his scheme.

It was for the greater good, he reminded himself. It didn’t matter if he had to cheat and manipulate for it, because he knew he was right. He loved them all, didn’t he? He knew what was the best for them. And they would have it, even if he had to trick them into it. Even if he had to break their hearts in the process.

Yet it still made him bitter, knowing they would love her more than they could ever love him.

 

* * *

 

(*) It’s ambitious to even think about it / But this idea is more than ambition / It’s pretending to equal myself with gods / Those who do it are cursed

I left it in Spanish because I love the rhythm of the original lyrics.

 

Spot the book character references! There are two (apart from Dorian Gray in the epigraph, that is). Though I guess that, knowing me, they’re not too hard to guess…

 

(More notes here)