Christmas Nightmare [Card Captor Sakura; English]

[laurus-nobilis.livejournal.com]

Title: Christmas Nightmare
Rating: G
Genre: Humour
Characters: Clow, Yue, Cerberus
Summary: Clow decides to change his way of celebrating Christmas.
Notes: Written for tsukimineshrine's "A Humorous Feast" challenge. Full of The Nightmare Before Christmas quotes.


Christmas Nightmare

“This year,” Clow exclaimed that morning, "we will have a proper Christmas!”

His Guardians stared at him, then at each other, then at him again.

“As opposed to what?” asked Yue at last. “Don’t we always have a ‘proper’ Christmas?”

“Well, you have to admit that we are a little peculiar-”

“But we have fun, don’t we?” said Kerberos. “That’s what it’s all about! Fun and food and presents!”

“Yet year after year, it’s the same routine,” Clow sighed. “We should try something different. Just for once.”

Neither of them seemed too convinced. The wizard sank heavily onto his armchair, disappointed. He had wished for a little more enthusiasm.

“There are few who’d deny, at what I do I am the best,” he muttered absent-mindedly. Kerberos couldn’t hold back a snort.

“And what does your narcissism have to do with anything?”

“Can’t you see, Kerberos? It’s always the same, with everything!” he replied with an exasperated wave of his hand. “I excel without ever even trying!”

“You say it as if it wasn’t a good thing,” Yue observed.

“It isn’t. I could use a challenge, once in a while.” Clow looked at the Guardians’ puzzled expressions and realized he’d have to translate it for them. “I’m bored.”

“So you want to celebrate Christmas like everybody else?” Kerberos asked. “I mean, with an actual tree and everything?”

“Of course.”

“But what about Wood and Illusion?” Yue intervened. “They always make the tree.”

“Well, this year they can be mistletoe!” Clow said, setting the two Cards loose. “Garlands of mistletoe, all over the house!”

Yue tilted his head with a thoughtful look.

“That doesn’t make much sense…”

“And where do you plan to get that tree, anyway?” Kerberos asked.

Clow’s answer was a knowing grin.

* * *

They had plenty of trees in the house’s grounds; all they had to do was pick one. After many discussions, and the realization that no natural tree would look as perfect as one made with the Cards, they settled for a young pine. It had the right look and, more importantly, the right size to fit in the living-room.

“How are you going to cut it down?” asked Yue.

Clow winked at him and activated Sword. The tree was down on the ground with one swift move.

“Well,” said Kerberos, “there goes the ‘like everybody else’ part.”

“It’s still a real tree,” the wizard defended himself, using Power to carry it into the house.

Wood and Illusion had done a wonderful job with the mistletoe in the living-room; the tree added the last touch to it. Clow and his Guardians spent a good deal of time decorating it “the slow way”, as Kerberos said. When they finished, it seemed as if each of them had been working without looking at the other two. Yue was going to make a comment about the lack of symmetry, suggesting to start over, but his Master’s cheerful expression stopped him.

“Why, that looks so unique, inspired!” Clow exclaimed.

Yue and Kerberos exchanged a Look.

* * *

Right after lunch, Clow went to the kitchen and didn’t leave it for hours. By mid-afternoon, Yue got bored of watching the mistletoe grow through every room of the house and decided to check on his Master. He was a bit worried about him; there was something off about this “proper Christmas” thing.

Clow received him with a bright smile, though he didn’t stop kneading the dough for the cookies.

“Ah, Yue!” he exclaimed, pushing up his glasses with the back of his hand. “I’m glad you’re here. I need your help more than anyone’s.”

“Why?” asked the Moon Guardian, trying not to look too proud.

“You’re the one with fingers.”

“… oh.”

“Would you help me with the frosting? I’ll never finish on my own.”

“Of course…” Yue began to say, and then trailed off as he took in for the first time the amount of cookies the wizard had baked. The Sweet had begun to decorate them while Bubbles took care of the used trays, but there was still an enormous pile left.

“How many batches have you made?” he asked.

“What does it matter? It’s Christmas!” his Master replied, still kneading cheerfully.

A little too cheerfully, perhaps. His Guardian looked at him with a hint of worry in his eyes.

“Clow?”

The wizard finally stopped, his gaze lost somewhere far away.

“I’m tired, Yue,” he sighed, “so tired of the same old thing. Don’t you ever… just want to change?”

Yue contemplated the question for a little while, as he spread green frosting on a tree-shaped cookie. There had to be a way of telling him the truth without hurting his feelings.

“I like things the way they are,” he answered quietly at last.

“I know,” Clow said. “It’s not that. I-”

“Clow!” Kerberos interrupted them, bursting through the kitchen’s door. “They’ve gone mad!”

“Who’s gone…?”

The wizard didn’t need to finish the question: thick garlands of mistletoe were now starting to curl around the drawers’ handles. He left the kitchen to take a look at the other rooms, which were completely covered with green leaves.

“Oh dear,” was all he managed to say, his voice weak and tired.

“Well,” Yue said, “you did tell them all over the house this morning…”

“But I wanted decorations, not a jungle!” Clow exclaimed, and he called the Cards back. “All right, let’s start again. Just in a few key places? Please?”

The mistletoe timidly began to cover the corners of the ceiling. He took off his glasses and rubbed his temples; suddenly, he felt Kerberos tugging at his robes.

“Um, I think we have another situation…”

As much as Clow wished it to be just his blurry vision, Bubbles’s foam was already halfway down the hall. He cursed under his breath and ran to the kitchen.

The water there was knee-high and, to make things worse, Bubbles was in a playful mood. She turned towards her Master as soon as she sensed him coming. Still in shock, Clow tried to shield himself with a baking tray, but it was too late. A cascade of foam had splashed over him by the time he managed to call the Card back.

“Could it be,” Yue asked tentatively, “that you are a little overenthusiastic?”

“I guess,” Clow sighed as he dropped himself onto a chair, his hair still dripping tiny bubbles. “Am I trying much too hard?”

Kerberos went to sit beside him, resting his head on the wizard’s lap.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be using so many Cards at the same time,” he suggested. “You won’t be able to keep your mind on all of them…”

Yue’s eyes widened in horror.

“The Sweet!”

Clow jumped up; he had completely forgotten about that. The Card had finished with the cookies and the utensils, and now it was working on the kitchen counter.

“This can’t be happening,” he muttered, “it just can’t be hap- stop eating the cutlery!” he snapped, snatching half a chocolate spoon from the Sun Guardian’s greedy paws. “Just stop! Everyone! NOW!”

The whole house became silent. Returned to her Card form, the Sweet fell quietly on top of a pile of frosted cookies.

Clow was leaning on the counter, holding on to it with a slightly trembling hand while he covered his eyes with the other one. He looked more than exhausted.

“Everything’s gone all wrong,” he said, “everything… Why does nothing ever happen as it should?”

“Well,” Kerberos said, trying his best to sound comforting, “you’ve had your challenge, haven’t you? And you can bet this is a different Christmas…”

“Our most horrible yet,” Clow groaned. Yue looked at him sympathetically.

“Maybe you should rest a bit. We can take care of everything.”

“No,” said the wizard, looking up at last. “No, I will fix this mess, and I will finish cooking, and we will have a Christmas Eve feast like the world has never seen before!”

The Moon Guardian couldn’t restrain a tired sigh. Kerberos stared at their Master, tilting his head.

“Why do you have to be so stubborn?” he exclaimed. “You know, if you weren’t so fixated on this Christmas thing-”

“I want it,” Clow interrupted him, a dangerous gleam on his eyes. “Oh, I want it for my own.”

* * *

How Clow survived for the rest of the afternoon was beyond his Guardians’ comprehension. He spent a couple more hours locked in the kitchen, and then rushed upstairs without a word. When he finally showed up in the dining-room, however, he did look more relaxed. He had bathed and changed into his best clothes.

“Why so dressed up?" Kerberos asked.

“Why not? We are celebrating,” he replied. “Shall we have dinner, then?"

He didn’t have to say it twice.

Half an hour later, even the Sun Guardian was full, and there were still lots of dishes untouched. Clow began to wonder how much time had he spent in the kitchen, really.

“We can save some for tomorrow,” said Yue, in an attempt to make things look a little better.

“And for New Year’s Eve, and for Easter,” the wizard sighed. Then he remembered something and groaned. “I hope you’ve saved some room for those cookies.”

* * *

Clow sat on his armchair and stared into the fire, distractedly holding a half eaten little star. He had never thought it possible to get sick of Christmas cookies before now.

An annoyed groan from his Sun Guardian brought him back from his reverie.

“Did you use Shield on the presents?”

“For once in your life, have some patience, Kerberos,” the wizard sighed. “You just have to wait until midnight. Then it’ll be Christmas and I’ll let you open them, I promise.”

“But I want to know what I got!”

“That’s the point of the thing, not to know,” Clow began to explain, but gave up immediately. He shook his head and turned around to find Yue beside him, looking at him with worried eyes.

“You don’t seem to be having any fun,” the Guardian said. His Master sighed.

“Nobody’s having fun,” he admitted, “and I’m exhausted, and I’ve cooked too much, and that tree looks awful.”

“I did try to warn you,” said Yue, amused in spite of himself.

“Oh, who am I fooling,” Clow muttered, “I’ve pretended for too long.”

He took out the Cards and used Glow on the tree; that did make it look somewhat better. But the rest of the deck was glowing softly now, yearning to come out and play. The wizard couldn’t help but smile.

“Well, I may as well give them what they want,” he said. Still, he knew that only now had he set things right, that he had been missing part of his family.

“Now it’s more like it,” said Yue, a small smile forming on his lips.

“I know… But I never intended all this madness,” Clow said quietly. “I just wanted to try something different, and nobody really understood…”

“You knew it would be like this,” his Moon Guardian observed. “What else did you expect?”

“I’m not sure,” the wizard replied, and suddenly laughed at himself. “A Christmas miracle, I guess.”

The clock struck twelve at last; Kerberos jumped on the pile of presents, delighted.

“Wow! A hand-made pillow!” he exclaimed. “Thank you, Clow!”

“That wasn’t me,” his Master said with a smile.

The lion grinned dangerously and pounced on his brother, who was trying very hard to look annoyed.

“Get off me,” Yue said good-naturedly. “And I better get something good from you.”

Clow laughed heartily at his Guardians’ pretended bickering; his Christmas was turning merry at last. Smiling as he watched the colourful, noisy sprites that filled the room, he couldn’t help but wonder why he had wanted a “proper” celebration- nobody else in the world had this.

“Confound it all,” he muttered to himself, “I love it though.”

He went for a dance with Flower, and let her lead.