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fractal_mirrors2007-02-09 12:58 pm
laurus-nobilis.livejournal.com) wrote in fractal_mirrors2007-02-09 12:58 pm
Body and Soul [Good Omens/xxxHOLiC; English]
Title: Body and Soul
Rating: G
Genre: Genfic / humour
Characters: Crowley, Aziraphale and Yuuko
Summary: A quiet vacation was too much to ask for.
Body and Soul
It all happened very fast.
The worst part of it was that they had been so calm just before, really. Things had been going very well recently; so well, in fact, that they were on a holiday of sorts. Not that they ever stopped doing their respective jobs during those few days in Japan, of course. Aziraphale particularly liked helping people break their record in how fast they evacuated their building during a fire drill. Crowley was rather proud of some inspired Engrish that would cause frustration to technology users all over the world.
But then a little girl fell while she was crossing the street, and Aziraphale tried to get her out of the way, and Crowley tried to get him out of the way – and next thing they knew, they were both 'inconveniently discorporated' and floating around Tokyo.
So, strictly speaking, what happened after that made sense. They were naturally attracted to the two nearest soulless bodies, which just happened to be very near each other.
They also just happened to be two little girls.
Crowley was the first one to realize it. As soon as he took notice of his surroundings, he let out a neverending string of swearwords that sounded particularly out of place coming from someone of his current figure.
“Really,” Aziraphale chided him, starting to regain consciousness as well, “I know this is a tense situation, but is that absolutely neces- oh.”
“Exactly,” Crowley said. He stared at his companion for a few moments, and then added, “Tell me my hair is not pink.”
“It's light blue,” was the reply. Then Aziraphale opened his eyes wide. “Oh dear. Wait. Does that mean I have pink hair?”
“And a dress. And cutesy little angelic wings.” He couldn't hold back a grin in spite of himself. “If Shadwell could see you now...”
“Well, you have wings too,” the angel pointed out. “The kind that humans think that you have. And your hair is longer than mine.”
“What?” Crowley exclaimed. He tried to look over his shoulder, but the wings were too small and he couldn't see them from that angle. “This is all your fault, angel! Why didn't you just stop that car?”
“Because that would only have caused an accident of a different kind. And you didn't have to jump right after me, you know,” said Aziraphale. “Although it was quite nice of you.”
“Oh, shut up. You'll get me in trouble.”
“Well, try to look at the bright side,” he continued. “At least that little girl is all right.”
“I am a little girl,” said Crowley.
“And a very cute one, too,” a third voice intervened. “Aren't you two adorable?”
They looked up to see a woman with long, black hair and a much too cheerful smile. She shouldn't have looked so tall. More importantly, she shouldn't have looked so amused.
“And you are?” Crowley snapped.
“Ichihara Yuuko,” she replied. “The owner of this shop.”
“Shop?” asked Aziraphale. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I can give you your old bodies back,” was her only answer. “For a price.”
“I don't really like the way that sounds,” Aziraphale said. Yuuko smiled.
“I don't bring back the dead, if that is what worries you. But you two aren't dead. We're talking about the shells alone.”
“Well,” he said, thoughtful, “if you put it that way...”
“We're in, of course we're in,” Crowley interrupted. “Just one thing, though. You're not getting my Bentley.”
“And why would I want an old car?” she told him with a bored look. Crowley didn't know if he should feel relieved because she wasn't asking for it, or offended because she didn't want it.
In any case, she turned to Aziraphale first.
“You have a book that I want,” she said. “One Hundred And One Ways To Cook Eggplants, by a certain Clow Reed.”
“That one?” the angel asked in dismay. “Do you know how long it took me to convince him to sell it to me? That man was impossible to argue with.”
“Tell me about it,” she muttered. “Anyway, do you want your body or not?”
“I suppose it's a fair price,” he sighed.
“Of course it is. Asking for something unfair is too much trouble,” said Yuuko, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then she turned to look at Crowley. “As for you, I want your plants.”
“My plants?” he repeated. “My trained plants?”
“Yes, that's precisely it,” she said, grinning at him. “That way, I won't have to work.”
For a few minutes, there was a very, very tense silence. But, in the end, Crowley had to admit that he didn't have much of a choice.
“Fine,” he muttered.
He had barely finished speaking when he noticed he had his old body again, clothes and sunglasses and all. Beside him, Aziraphale smiled to himself, stretching his old arms. The two little girls they had been just stood in front of them, grinning. They actually looked kind of creepy now that they were empty.
“Ah, thank you,” Aziraphale said. “But what about the payments you wanted? How will you get those?”
“Oh, don't worry,” Yuuko said, with a dangerous looking grin. “I'll just send my errand boy for them.”
That didn't make a lot of sense (especially considering that she had never asked where they lived) but neither of them was in the mood for asking. They just crossed the garden and walked out, leaving that place and its strange aura to return to the more ordinary parts of the city. All the way, the girls jumped around them, waving. It was disturbing.
Crowley started complaining as soon as they were out of the shop.
“A recipe book,” he hissed. “I can't believe it. I had to give her my plants, after all that time I spent working on them, and you get away with a recipe book. About eggplants.”
“It wasn't just a book,” Aziraphale sighed, still a little upset by his loss. “It was one of kind, signed by the author and everything. I will never find another again. It's a greater loss than those plants of yours.”
“Are you saying that an inanimate object is more valuable than several living beings?” the demon asked with a smirk.
“Well, no. I mean. Er.” Aziraphale pondered the question for an instant, then smiled triumphantly. “They are going to are better owner.”
“You don't even know her.”
“I don't need to. Anyone would treat those poor plants better than you.”
“Now I'll have to get new plants and start all over again,” Crowley muttered. The angel shook his head.
“Why don't you just let it go?” he said. “Come on. I'll pay for dinner this time.”
“You better, because this was all your fault.”
Aziraphale pretended not to hear.
Rating: G
Genre: Genfic / humour
Characters: Crowley, Aziraphale and Yuuko
Summary: A quiet vacation was too much to ask for.
It all happened very fast.
The worst part of it was that they had been so calm just before, really. Things had been going very well recently; so well, in fact, that they were on a holiday of sorts. Not that they ever stopped doing their respective jobs during those few days in Japan, of course. Aziraphale particularly liked helping people break their record in how fast they evacuated their building during a fire drill. Crowley was rather proud of some inspired Engrish that would cause frustration to technology users all over the world.
But then a little girl fell while she was crossing the street, and Aziraphale tried to get her out of the way, and Crowley tried to get him out of the way – and next thing they knew, they were both 'inconveniently discorporated' and floating around Tokyo.
So, strictly speaking, what happened after that made sense. They were naturally attracted to the two nearest soulless bodies, which just happened to be very near each other.
They also just happened to be two little girls.
Crowley was the first one to realize it. As soon as he took notice of his surroundings, he let out a neverending string of swearwords that sounded particularly out of place coming from someone of his current figure.
“Really,” Aziraphale chided him, starting to regain consciousness as well, “I know this is a tense situation, but is that absolutely neces- oh.”
“Exactly,” Crowley said. He stared at his companion for a few moments, and then added, “Tell me my hair is not pink.”
“It's light blue,” was the reply. Then Aziraphale opened his eyes wide. “Oh dear. Wait. Does that mean I have pink hair?”
“And a dress. And cutesy little angelic wings.” He couldn't hold back a grin in spite of himself. “If Shadwell could see you now...”
“Well, you have wings too,” the angel pointed out. “The kind that humans think that you have. And your hair is longer than mine.”
“What?” Crowley exclaimed. He tried to look over his shoulder, but the wings were too small and he couldn't see them from that angle. “This is all your fault, angel! Why didn't you just stop that car?”
“Because that would only have caused an accident of a different kind. And you didn't have to jump right after me, you know,” said Aziraphale. “Although it was quite nice of you.”
“Oh, shut up. You'll get me in trouble.”
“Well, try to look at the bright side,” he continued. “At least that little girl is all right.”
“I am a little girl,” said Crowley.
“And a very cute one, too,” a third voice intervened. “Aren't you two adorable?”
They looked up to see a woman with long, black hair and a much too cheerful smile. She shouldn't have looked so tall. More importantly, she shouldn't have looked so amused.
“And you are?” Crowley snapped.
“Ichihara Yuuko,” she replied. “The owner of this shop.”
“Shop?” asked Aziraphale. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I can give you your old bodies back,” was her only answer. “For a price.”
“I don't really like the way that sounds,” Aziraphale said. Yuuko smiled.
“I don't bring back the dead, if that is what worries you. But you two aren't dead. We're talking about the shells alone.”
“Well,” he said, thoughtful, “if you put it that way...”
“We're in, of course we're in,” Crowley interrupted. “Just one thing, though. You're not getting my Bentley.”
“And why would I want an old car?” she told him with a bored look. Crowley didn't know if he should feel relieved because she wasn't asking for it, or offended because she didn't want it.
In any case, she turned to Aziraphale first.
“You have a book that I want,” she said. “One Hundred And One Ways To Cook Eggplants, by a certain Clow Reed.”
“That one?” the angel asked in dismay. “Do you know how long it took me to convince him to sell it to me? That man was impossible to argue with.”
“Tell me about it,” she muttered. “Anyway, do you want your body or not?”
“I suppose it's a fair price,” he sighed.
“Of course it is. Asking for something unfair is too much trouble,” said Yuuko, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Then she turned to look at Crowley. “As for you, I want your plants.”
“My plants?” he repeated. “My trained plants?”
“Yes, that's precisely it,” she said, grinning at him. “That way, I won't have to work.”
For a few minutes, there was a very, very tense silence. But, in the end, Crowley had to admit that he didn't have much of a choice.
“Fine,” he muttered.
He had barely finished speaking when he noticed he had his old body again, clothes and sunglasses and all. Beside him, Aziraphale smiled to himself, stretching his old arms. The two little girls they had been just stood in front of them, grinning. They actually looked kind of creepy now that they were empty.
“Ah, thank you,” Aziraphale said. “But what about the payments you wanted? How will you get those?”
“Oh, don't worry,” Yuuko said, with a dangerous looking grin. “I'll just send my errand boy for them.”
That didn't make a lot of sense (especially considering that she had never asked where they lived) but neither of them was in the mood for asking. They just crossed the garden and walked out, leaving that place and its strange aura to return to the more ordinary parts of the city. All the way, the girls jumped around them, waving. It was disturbing.
Crowley started complaining as soon as they were out of the shop.
“A recipe book,” he hissed. “I can't believe it. I had to give her my plants, after all that time I spent working on them, and you get away with a recipe book. About eggplants.”
“It wasn't just a book,” Aziraphale sighed, still a little upset by his loss. “It was one of kind, signed by the author and everything. I will never find another again. It's a greater loss than those plants of yours.”
“Are you saying that an inanimate object is more valuable than several living beings?” the demon asked with a smirk.
“Well, no. I mean. Er.” Aziraphale pondered the question for an instant, then smiled triumphantly. “They are going to are better owner.”
“You don't even know her.”
“I don't need to. Anyone would treat those poor plants better than you.”
“Now I'll have to get new plants and start all over again,” Crowley muttered. The angel shook his head.
“Why don't you just let it go?” he said. “Come on. I'll pay for dinner this time.”
“You better, because this was all your fault.”
Aziraphale pretended not to hear.
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Aziraphale and Crowley as Maru and Moro! *still dying*
Does this mean A/C is canon?
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Does this mean A/C is canon?
Ahahaha, probably ^_^
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“One Hundred And One Ways To Cook Eggplants, by a certain Clow Reed.”
... I would so read that book.
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Dammit, Yuuko, I also want Clow's autograph.
The fic needs some beta, but the concept and execution makes me glad I forced GO on you ♥
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I want Clow's autograph too. But most of all, I want Watanuki to cook Clow's recipes for me ♥
That book is so awesome, I',m glad you made me read it.
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I wish I could remember what/who triggered me to read GO. Then you could credit that, too.
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